The Power in Forgiving…Or Not Forgiving
Posted By admin on December 26, 2009
Most Churches, and certainly all I’ve ever attended, preach a lot about the importance of forgiving – forgiving anyone and everyone who has aroused our ire or resentment. Considering the number of times we are told, through the New Testament, one wonders why we should even need to be told about it again from the pulpit. Like:
Matt 18:21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but, seventy-seven times….(NIV)
Jesus then tells the parable of a debtor who is forgiven his large debt owed the king, but who then goes out and refuses to forgive, but punishes terribly, a man who owes him only a small amount. When the king hears of it he revokes the forgiveness he had just given that debtor, and cast him into prison. Lest the connection be missed, Jesus makes it eminently clear, explaining:
Matt 18:35 This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.(NIV)
And there is “The Lord’s Prayer”.
Luke11:2 He said to them, “When you pray, say: “Father, hallowed be your name…. (4) Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us…(NIV)
Pastors, usually teach us these sorts of things by showing us how it applies/works or our own life experience. I imagine a lot of you have more than once seen a bag full of rocks used to illustrate the burden that unforgiven hurts and resentments (like rocks) can be in our lives. Psychologists pretty much agree. Almost all counseling therapies emphasize finding out what unforgiven injuries we are still hiding or harboring in our souls, and how we must drop them by the wayside, forgive all those who have trespassed against us, if we are get on with healing and growing in life.
So that’s the power of forgiveness. If you’re a Christian, I’m sure you are familiar with it. You’ve had the teaching and read the Scriptures. And as you grow, you discover, just as the world, through science and psychology has discovered, forgiving is one of the cornerstones of healthy lives, and the only way to reach that “peace that surpasses all understanding” that God promises.
What’s not so well explored, or taught, is the power of unforgiving. Oh, we’ll not be left ignorant about the “other side of the coin”. That’s pretty obvious. Forgiving frees us, takes a load off. Unforgiving hurts us. But we hear little about the power of unforgiving that carries over to and affects another. To the object of our (former) resentment and hating. Scripture actually teaches that our unforgiving doesn’t just hurt us, but hurts the other person(s), even if they are unaware of our feelings! That’s something we need to know about as well.
You get a hint of it, in some churches, when the Pastor tells us we should not take part in certain liturgies and sacraments. In my churches, its common to admonish us not to take communion until we make certain we don’t still hold on to any grudge or unforgiveness. Many churches include baptism and confirmation as conditional upon having a heart unburdened by unforgiveness.
Some churches will even advise against putting your offering in the collection plate or box. That’s an admonition well-founded in the Scripture:
Matt 5:23,24, If you are offering your gift at the alter and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the alter. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.(NIV)
This comes closer to showing the exact nature of the power of unforgiving. It tells you that God is not even interested in your offerings if you are unforgiving of another, or, even if some other person has not, or not been able to have, forgiven you and you know it! There is truly power! The power of unforgiving! From either side of a grievance, unforgiving disrupts your relationship with God!
This point, that unforgiving is a power unto itself, came across to me just the other day as I was reading John. It’s one of those I’ve-read-it-a-thousand-times, even underlined the whole passage, and-never-saw-that experiences. It’s in John 20:
21 Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.
22 And with that He breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.
23 “If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”
That, my friends, is the real power of unforgiving. And it explains why Jesus put so much emphasis on forgiving. Forgiving is part and parcel of the never-ceasing command that must all love one another, do all that we can to avoid disputes and disagreements, do all we can - in the most discrete way we can (first go to your brother alone, then with one or two others, then with the elders…) - to settle problems, to be always messengers of peace, and take our peace (which is the Peace of God) with us wherever we go.
(Playing “Pastor” here), look at how it works in the “natural”. Unforgiveness disrupts your relationship with God, in no small way. It angers, hurts, and usually causes a like resentment in the other person, and so disrupts his/her relationship with God as well. So it is one of the most serious stumbling blocks we can put before anyone. We disrupt their ability to have communion with, to pray to, to put offerings before, and may even block their ability to develop faith and belief in, God. We break their peace, cause them all those sorts of psychological and spiritual pain and damage we talked about before. Unforgiving is a wicked power, a power unto itself, which we are bound, for our own salvation, to give away and refuse to touch!






